Micromanaging is one of the most overused words in the English language as of late, but it is the topic of discussion today. You all know someone who micromanages. I myself have at times been a micromanager. You know these people. The ones who stand over you while you do a project or point out when your t's are not crossed and your i's not dotted. I know way too many people who micromanage their homes. Their children's rooms must always be spotless and you no sooner start drinking out of a glass than it's been swiped out from under you and placed in the dishwasher. But stop and think now of how many people micromanage their children. I bet you can think of several. These parents stand over their children through every step of their homework, prod them into every decision, and plan every minute of their existence. I can safely say I know at least one micromanger because at one point I was one. But I have come to realize that this is not helping my children and very probably hindering them. I don't want my child calling me from college in a few years to do homework over the phone and yes, that really happens.
This year it is my personal goal to stop micromanaging my children. To that end, I am no longer monitoring them as they do homework, I am no longer picking anybody's clothes, and they are making their own school lunches. Now, before some of you call me out as a negligent parent, let me clarify. My children are not eating roots and berries to survive, they still have bedtimes that are strictly enforced, and they are not being raised by a pack of wolves. I am, however, teaching them to make their own decisions and manage their own affairs. They are expected to do their own homework. I do not stand over them or tell them what they should have done on each assignment. I check their work when they are finished and am available for help and questions. My son has already figured out that waiting until Sunday to do his written homework is probably not the best idea. If I had told him to do it each day he would have gotten it done earlier in the week but wouldn't have learned the lesson. In fact, I have been nagging him to get his homework done each day for years now but it wasn't until he was left on his own that he learned the lesson. All 3 kids (aged 10 and 7) are now making their own lunches. I am standing by to make sure they don't have 3 different kinds of cookies or candy bar sandwiches. I cut apples and make sure tops are on bottles tightly. I'm not a lazy parent or a mean parent. I'm a loving parent who wants my children to understand that what they put in their bodies matters. If I dictate what they eat this will be a hard earned lesson. What I have learned is they make better choices with their food than I do sometimes. I have cut a lot of carrots and apples this first week of school.
Our children are capable of doing these things alone.....if we let them. I'm not saying there shouldn't be rules or guidelines that are enforced in our homes. I'm saying that society has taught us that if we don't dictate everything our kids do, we don't care about our kids and we are not raising them well. Nonsense! If we love them we will give them the opportunity to let them use the tools they already have to make it in the real world. We want our children to be able to make their own decisions in the work force, for their families, and for themselves without having to call home to ask our opinion. These kids will be grownups soon and I don't want to be making their lunch when they are 30!
