Remember When....

Remember when we were kids and we hopped on our bikes and rode to friends' houses around the neighborhood? Remember when you had to come in the house when the light turned on and off in front of your house at night? Remember when your mom wasn't afraid to let you go to the bathroom by yourself at a store or restaurant? Those days, sadly, are gone. A friend of mine posed a question to her fellow mothers today that is a question we all have asked in light of the times in which we currently live. When is a child old enough to ________________? When is my child old enough to go to a public bathroom by themselves (because I'm going to be worried the whole time that someone is going to hurt them)? When can my child walk to a friend's house alone (because I'm going to be worried the whole time that someone is going to snatch them)? When can my child stay alone at home (because I'm going to be worried the whole time that the boogieman is going to come knock on the door)? Are we being worry warts or are these valid questions? How will our children learn to fend for themselves if we have to keep them so close for so long?

I think parents have every right to be afraid. Children are taken, molested, and harmed everyday close to home. But how do we parent with these fears? How do I let my 10 year old learn to stand up for himself if I keep him tied to my apron strings until he is 20? How do I teach my children not to live in fear but be confident enough to stand up for themselves? These are difficult questions I'm not sure I have the answers to yet. I try not to live in fear of what I know is out there, but at the same time not be careless. I try to give them inches of freedom because by college they will need miles of freedom. I try to give them the tools to take care of themselves, but stay close enough to jump in if needed. There are no rules for any of these issues and this topic does not appear in my "Parenting Guidebook". Things I would let my 10 year old do I probably won't let my 6 year olds do until they are 16. It's a day by day process. There are differences in how each child will handle situations, gender differences, and age differences that factor in to each decision. The only thing I can suggest is to be prepared. Know your stand before your child asks so you won't be tempted to make a hasty decision. Know your age requirements for staying home alone before he/she asks. Know how old your son needs to be before he goes into the public bathroom without you. If you are nervous ask yourself if it's a valid fear or fear of the unknown. Act according to that "sixth sense" that God gave you and not the fear the enemy plants in your mind. Post comments letting me know what parenting issues you are struggling with in light of the current state of the world. We're all in this together.....