Easy Now....

I recently subscribed to a homeschool daily devotion, as always looking for a bit of encouragement. A few weeks ago I opened my daily email ready to find tidbits of support. I should have known that nothing good happens at 5:15 in the morning. The devotion for the day was written by a homeschool mother who was guilt ridden because she had let the day before pass without sweeping her kitchen floor. She went on to tell how she had let God and her family down for letting her housework slide and not doing her best. I reread the devotion. And again. I thought about the crumbs in my kitchen floor. I thought about the small dog that could possibly be made from the dust bunnies of dog hair that were floating around my foyer. I beat myself up for an hour or so about all the tasks that I had not been able to get to because I homeschooled a bit long the day before or had to get my son to band practice....or, and this is the bad one, watched 15 extra minutes of Downton Abbey. I tortured myself over the knowledge that God loves order and the clean laundry in my living room was out of order.

This went on for another hour (ok, a few days) and then, finally, God said, "Easy now...Just do your best." And I had to think about that for a good long while, too. Here's the thing, ladies: God is there in the dust bunnies and the laundry. He doesn't leave you when you just can't get to everything. He's saying, "Easy now..." But for some reason, we as women want it to be perfect. And we never get there and then proceed to beat ourselves up about that. Or allow others to goad us into feeling as though we haven't quite hit the mark because we haven't lost that weight or finished that book we've started 3 times. We want to do it all. But what I've realized is, as long as we do our absolute best in what we've been called by God to do, then we are doing ok. For the woman who wrote the homeschool devotion, maybe that was not her best. She felt as though she had missed the mark. As yet, I have not been whispered to by God about the laundry in my living room or the piles of magazines I keep saying I'm going to go through. I have been convicted by God though, about believing what society tells me is the definition of who I am and trying too hard to live up to the expectations of others. I have been convicted of trying too hard to get it all perfect and missing opportunities to sit and snuggle my babies. God does love order. But I believe he also loves balance. I believe he is saddened when we speak unkindly to ourselves. I believe he is saddened when we are mean to ourselves because we believe what society tells us. I don't want to live in squalor, but I'm tired of being mean to myself. I'm going to let a couple of dust bunnies float by today while I teach my children. I'm going to let the laundry sit today while I teach a small group of youth at church. I'm going to do my best at what I've been called to do and not worry about the rest.